Serge’s sarcastic scientific quotes collection

I am not really in the business of collecting aphorisms, quotes, or any other sorts of wise proverbs. However, occasionally some stuff comes across that is just impossible to pass up.

Ginsberg Theorem
This sarcastic theorem is useful for mocking not only the laws of thermodynamics, but also the laws of life in general, and therefore it clearly belongs in this collection. Of course, Allen Ginsberg, who is an American poet, is not to be confused with Vitaly Ginzburg, who is a famous Russian physicist.
  1. You can’t win. (restatement of first law of thermodynamics)
  2. You can’t break even. (restatement of second law of thermodynamics)
  3. You can’t even get out of the game. (restatement of third law of thermodynamics)
Arthur Bloch, Murphy’s Law: The 26th Anniversary Edition (ISBN: 0399529306)

The Red Queen’s race
This quote reflects very well the frantic efforts of modern scientists to stay current in their fields. Of course, being a scientist himself, Lewis Carroll knew exactly what he was writing about.  The Red Queen's race
Alice looked round her in great surprise. “Why, I do believe we’ve been under this tree all the time! Everything’s just as it was!””Of course it is,” said the Queen: “what would you have it?”

“Well, in our country,” said Alice, still panting a little, “you’d generally get to somewhere else — if you ran very fast for a long time, as we’ve been doing.”

“A slow sort of country!” said the Queen. “Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”
Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass

 

 

 

The Psilons
A nice reflection on the processes of peer review and tenure Psilon scientist
The Psilons are a delicate race of brilliant researchers from a Low-G home world. Each Psilon scientist produces 2 more research than the galactic norm. In addition, the Psilons are very creative, and they never ignore a potential avenue of research. Thus, all technologies are available to their scientists. That their home world is large does not hurt. Peer review and tenure squabbles have prevented them from achieving a form of government more advantageous than a Dictatorship.
“Master of Orion II” game manual, Section 3 (Microprose)